soooo... five months have now passed since i've updated this blog. lol. i'm still alive though - both well and kickin~ hehe. its just that i've been "busy" (although i dont think that term can justify it anymore.. and i'm thinking of coining a new term to define how busy i am these days.. say like "terlalu dan tersangat-sangat-sangat sibuk in the world" haha. nah...)

since i came back last october, i had barely any time to rest. work is one thing, home is one thing and the wedding is one thing. heeee. yep u heard me right. in approximately a month, i'll be hitched! =) as excited as i sound now, i really cant wait to get it over with. who knew planning a wedding can be a pain in the bum! alum lagi stress usin. stress family pun ada. and segala2 stress pun adaaaa. and the only thing i can do now is pray that God will lancarkan the whole thing and that the marriage will last. Amin...

the family had been great though. although there are times that i feel like 'running away from home' and erm 'kawin lari' hahaha, but they have been supportive. bless them for doing so. some people say that 'endangnya tu mun kawin... macam macam cabaran'. to think when i first heard that i thought it would be 'nothing' but man, was i wrong! macam macam banar my cabaran. only God knows... but alhamdulilah, i've managed to overcome it with loads of prayer. but you know what... despite the negative side of it, some people say that 'kawin ani membari murah rezeki'. and you know what? ITS TRUE! why? Just after the day i got engaged last february, I WON a $700 ESBOK (fridge).

ni nah bukti nya.....

LOL (me; fourth from the right)

funny story though... since no one knew that i got engaged the same weekend I won one of the grand prize di The Mall, the following monday a lot of my colleagues at work congratulated me. even my deputy principal came up to me and said "congratulations lai ahhh". and i really thought when people say congratulations atu, they were referring to my engagement. sekalinya bukannnn... they were referring to my new $700 Esbok because apparently they saw that picture on Ranoadidas and the paper! LOL. and being an 'overly confident bimbo' i was, i said... "awww thank you... auuu inda lagi lama *wink*". hahahahahah. and as i walked away, i bet those people were wondering "inda lagi lama apa? esboknya kana deliver kah? ia memakai esbok baru kah?" when i was referring to "inda lagi lama ku kawin..." hahah

yep and so, the wedding is in a month. cant wait!

cikgu suka main bola.. hari hari cikgu main bola..
cikgu suka main bola.. hari hari cikgu... tidur. cikgu sudah tidur mari kita main.

haha. i cant help but be reminded of that scene by P Ramlee. really, cause right now, all i do at work is trying really hard not to fall asleep. hehe. its soo boring and it gets even worse during the holidays. okay, some may not know this but i got a work 'tawaran' from the MOE about two months ago to teach sociology at the new PTE in Kg Katok. its a really new school and students only come in next year so it has been really slow. its weird that we dont have much to do. well ada pulang but its not as hectic as i would've expected. well okaylah. at least i can still enjoy the holidays behind my desk.

apparently, i'm still in need of a good pinch on the arm since i still find it hard to believe i'm back in Brunei and celebrating RAYA!

partly jetlagged, my days have been hectic with driving around Brunei and stayin for hours in different houses. berabis banar ku beraya. and its so funny that i still get angpow. haha. aku ani sbenarnya kana pikir si edah (my 16 years old little sister). i swear people kept handing me one and not my sister. haha.

other than being amazed on how "young" i still look, its also amazing how our raya tradition is still going strong over the years. every year (ever since i could remember), we would have takbir at my parents' house where mum and dad hosted an early "open house" by inviting the whole family to takbir together on malam raya. thankful to be back a day before raya, for me, the best bit about celebrating eid is having to takbir with my whole family again. of course, the occasion still makes me quite emotional (and you could imagine how hard i cried this year after missing it for 4 years). and the fact that everyone from the kampung and the family is welcome to join us makes the house quite merry.

other than that, every 1st day of Raya, after the eid prayers, we (my family and 6-7 other families) would convoy together and visit my grandfather's close cousins and siblings along kampong kilanas, bengkurong and bunut. this usually takes the whole day where we would visit more than 15 houses! tiring but fun! i'm not even gonna start on how much we have to eat since each house ada "makan2". seriously, any new comers who decides to join the tradition would have to have proper "raya training" and a strong stomach. si mike kenapa kan pengsan! hahaha. poor him. its his first time joining and he started complaining at the third house! hahah.

feels great to be back! i apologize to those yang belum teraga. right now i'm juggling my time trying to catch up with the family and adjusting to a proper sleeping pattern. but here's some of the raya pictures from the 1st day of raya taken by Mr Fadistar .

Sincerely,

Sarina / Sher / Nana
xxx

the fact that i'm no longer a student dawn on me yesterday. and to be honest with you, it felt totally surreal.. i was at the carphone warehouse yesterday when the guy behind the counter asked me for my occupation. it took a while and in my head i was like "i'm not a student anymore... and i havent started working yet.. soooo... what does that make me? unemployed? jobless? a bum?"

i really cant wait what's in line for me next. its a bit scary but i really cant wait.

i'm currently in London and in 3 days, i'll finally be making my way to Brunei, home sweet home. i know i've been home every summer for the past 4 years, but this year it is somewhat different. one because i know 'it IS finally over'. and two, i'll be celebrating raya again with the family!! *grin* "someone" kept telling me i shouldnt be as excited since Raya in Brunei isn't as fun as it used to be. but really, try missing raya for four consecutive years and you tell me that you're not as excited. "happy bubble popper" banar orang atu...

i know i shouldn't rant about others in here especially since its ramadhan. but this certain someone is really testing my limits. but since its puasa, i kept telling myself to sabar.. oh well..

anyhoos, kamu.... 3 DAYS!!!!!!!  inda lagi lama ku balik!!!! woooohoooooo.

i just realised that i have a lot of LEO friends. so to those celebrating their brithdays this month, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAMU!!!! (on the top of my head: Wani, Jirin, Apip, Julez, Nadz Pixies, Bg Sukri, Izun, Syida, Wang Ee, AJ, Arol, Amz, Nani). tiada hadiah dapat kuberikan, hanya sekalung doa dan secebis senyuman. hehehe.

I'm feeling a bit blue today. mainly because Herman is on his way back to Brunei already! nyeh. and ertinya i'm still stuck here writing up my dissertation, while he's driving around in Brunei with MY CAR! hahahaha. that's the last thing i said to him last night. i said "bah bisai2. take care of yourself. bisai2 drive kereta nana atu ah.." so, siapa tah adi, siapa abang ni? hehe and his reply was 'dui... balik ke brunei jua genya..' man, I miss him already.

its funny how people always thought my brother is actually my boyfriend. haha. and i think a lot of people think i'm his girlfriend too. padantah banyak gossip di Brunei that i've found someone else in the UK. tau tau, he's only my brother. but really, we dont have that much resemblance and i kept telling people that he's adopted. har har har. *grin*

ada jua resemblance sikit bah. colour baju kami sama. hehe

been having problems with my dissertation too. its progressing but its getting a bit controversial. it seems that the more i read and write about it, the more it changes my perspective on it. right now i'm like standing on water and if i go any further with it, i'm really sure i'll start drowning. sigh. entah lah labuuu... well all i can do now is pray, work hard and finally get it over with. because kan, i wanna goo home toooooo.

I CAN DO THIS.

been missing these two lately...

and him!! the youngest no.1 ABBA fan in the world LOL

oh man, cant really wait for September to come around now... really cant wait to go home!

finally had a taste of the UNPREDICTABLE british weather today when we had our BBQ in the rain. seriously. it was sunny and nice and then 10 minutes later, its gloomy and wet. it ruined our BBQ and food too since we were happily barbequeing our chicken just before the downpour. unexpected banar. i swear the sky was clear when we lit the fire. see that's really what u get being in Britain! crappy weather! the drastic change of weather didnt ruin our mood though. we were still happily chatting away huddled under a huge tree. met a number of interesting people too since it was my German friend's BBQ. and one thing that really interest me about these bunch of people is the reaction i got when i told them i was from Brunei. yep you've guessed it: BRUNEIANS ARE SUPER RICH. seriously? mana rich ani?

but really, i dont know about you guys, but i get that a lot. so okay, it is true that the Sultan is rich. and the country is 'kinda' rich with the oil and gas. and yes okay we are a tax free country. and yes our education and health services are (ridiculously) cheap. but are we, the general bruneian population really 'rich'? a deep amount of pondering is really needed there.

let us take some time to look at the word 'rich' first. how does one define rich?

Oxford dictionary defines rich as "having wealth or great possessions; abundantly supplied with resources, means, or funds; wealthy".

okay, so a typical Bruneian earns about a couple of thousand per month. more if you're lucky. so yes, bruneians do have wealth. and then moving on to 'having great possesions'; yes, every bruneian does (at least) have one car. but its funny that the more you earn, the more expensive your car is. but knowing that the car will probably be on loan with ridiculously expensive sport rims, about 1/3 (or even worst 1/2)  of the earnings will go to that. and then there's the ridiculous amount of money we spent on food (indomie in particular hehe) and eating out. maju bah the food industry in Brunei. not that its a bad thing tho.. good for the SMEs but not so good for the *whispers* hips and (usually) the bank account.  then of course there's our lavish lifestyle and our 'competitive being'. "apa orang sebelah ada, ketani pun mesti ada...". of course, although we do not really have an "abundant supply of fund", we do have credit cards which contains at least $10,000 amount of 'invisible money'. i do would like to put a great emphasis on the word 'invisible' though since really, it means what it says, invisible  a.k.a does not really exist a.k.a nada duit. so the more you use it, the more in debt you are. but really, who cares right since you can pay it off when you actually have the money. but lets ponder a bit more and ask yourself, when is that going to be? next month? next year? 10  years?

so really when we think about it with our lavish lifestyle and excessive spending, are bruneians really that rich? i'm sorry to say this, but rich in money? mostly are not. rich in debt? probably very likely.

so does that mean no more expensive handbags? noooooooooo. haha.

i think i must've confused some of u in my last post something about 'the appearence of an orang ketiga' (who is still psycho in my book btw hehe). by the mention of an 'orang ketiga' i didnt exactly mean mike's been going around behind my back, kissing other girls. but on the contrary, it really means another girl had been trying to ruin our relationship. although she is very unlikely to suceed in that, this girl is somewhat pretty determined in breaking us up. and its been five years and i havent even found out why she wanted to do that. well as far as i can see she has personal issues pulang. so who knows.

well dont let what i've written in this blog potray the reality of things. because really, IT DOESNT. i seldom talk about my relationship, my family and well in general my 'real' life. there's ocassional post where i talk about it but i doubt a 100 words worth of (each) post can potray the reality. this blog is merely for fun and entertainment. although for me it is "untuk membuang stress2 yang terpendam di dalam jiwa" haha. but that's the irony of it, i dont get stress (easily) ! ask my close friends and family, i'm the most "non-stressed" person they know. so that applies to my relationship and its problems (if there's any really) too. not that i'm saying my life is perfect or anything. but i just generally like to think the positive side to things. so that keeps me happy... (altho hyper at times) hehe. and really, God made and arranged things for us for a reason, and us sebagai umat Nya, we have to overcome it with hati yang tabah and sabar. and that's why the concept of 'prayers' exists. and like many of you believe, what goes around, comes around. so at the end of the day, all the bad things that happened will be better (sooner, if not later).

i hope that clarify things a lot..

according to my calendar, apparently, i'm getting married today.


HAHAHA. i seriously forgot i made that 'to do' alarm on my phone last year.

Mind you, i've planned the date way before i knew i was doing my MA and had to go back to the UK the following year. but how exciting is that? today, i have a non-existent wedding to attend to. and I'M THE BRIDE!!! i should really go all out today, wear the best dress i have and sip a (non-alcoholic) pina colada! hehe. man, really wish i'm back in Brunei right now.

but really, (other than getting "married") today marks an important event too. it's my 5th year anniversary with Mike. and seriously, someone pinch me. has it really been that long? time does fly by so fast. and knowing me, "the girl who once said i'll only settle down and get married at 28", it is really surprising. i suppose it is really up to fate for things to happen because me and mike, that wasnt really the plan at all. it was hard i must say, but somehow we made it. and of course after going through an awful lot of "dugaan" (i.e the appearence of a psycho 'orang ketiga'), i'm thankful that all those is only making our relationship stronger.

so here's to mike and me, happy 5th year anniversary syg. cant wait for the 'actual' BIG day next year. and thanks for being the best 'kekasih' ever! you know i love you, S xxx

i dont know why... but i'm feeling awfully excited about something. its just weird. maybe this is how it really feels like... *grin* its such a good feeling that i dont want it to ever ever EVER go away.

and sayang.... i know you can make it stay like that. *grin*

cant wait for the BIG BIG BIG day tomorrow!!

you know i love you, S xxx

trying hard to inspire myself to write the intro for my dissertation and so far, balum ada ilham. dont know why. i think i'm just lazy.

so what else is new...

been spending most of my days indoor now. at home or in the library mostly. which i think is good since sbenarnya aku ani makin itam. and with the hot sunny weather lately, i can get darker. seriously. i'm so dark that i can be mistaken as an Indian. bukan Indian arah cerita hindustan atu eh. but more like those in tamil movies. baik jua rambut ku masa ani ala ala orang Jipun and inda hikal mayang. haha.

spent a couple of hours outdoors earlier this week though during our impromptu spontaneous ever picnic. si hussein tu punya pasal. hahaha. although i have to admit it was fun because si hussein bought a frisbee! and rupanya kamu, ketani ani handal "banar" main frisbee. hahah. (do sense the sarcasm in the sentence). was fun though seeing me (especially) running frantically downhill, uphill and sideways (u name it) trying to "catch" it. very un lady like. hahaha. but good times indeed.

been meaning to post the pictures sooner but well due to other obligations and responsibilities that i need to attend to, like other random things that i come up with and NOT doing my work, aku lupa. so kamu, here it is. us in action.

one thing i hate about having a really hot weather is.... no not the fact that sini ani inda berhaircon and no, not the fact that sbenarnya aku kan pengsan kepanasan. but i really really really really hate the fact that a lot of men decided to go topless just because its panas. and mostly those men are either fat or sweaty or hairy or berdaki or worst, ALL OF THE ABOVE. i saw one earlier driving a roofless Mercedes CLK and the sight made me cringe big time.

so yes, as you can tell, its awfully hot again today. and it doesnt make it any better than most of the buildings in Uni are not airconditoned. tabuk nya pun 'sejamput'. but then the air was warm jua and there was no breeze at all. and right now, i'm just thankful that i'm not in London. hehehe. sorry kamu yang nun jauh di sana but i know LONDON lagi panas! booo.

** i just realised that asRAma and asMAra are the most confusing words in the whole wide world.


so as you can tell from the picture, i did make them buttermilk toast yesterday and it was DELICIOUSSSS. i even added cinnamon to the filling and the taste is really out of this world! i swear! haha.. just look at my happy customers! lol

we even had them near the lake so it taste extra good although the ducks kept quacking at us kan minta sedikit. hehe


anyhooo,

was up really early today. and i'm pretty annoyed since its sunday. automatic bah mata ah. so i decided to make my 'early bird' sunday worth it by going for a run this morning. and man, did i sweat. it's 26 degrees today and macam biasa, since rumah2 di negara ani inda ber'hair'con and di luar panas 'terik', I was really sweating like a B.A.B.Y, *whispers* babi.

thinking of starting my dissertation write up today. but will see how that goes too. mun ku rajin jua bah and inda kepanasan. dont know how that is related but dont u think heat makes you really lazy. nya kawan ku nya 'kehutak'. dont really know what kehutak means but macam extreme bunyi nya. macam boleh mati. so i'm not going to risk it. hehe.

i've been craving for something erm buttermilk-ey. iatah ku terkanangkan buttermilk toast di taurean. so yes, i'm making that tomorrow for tea. really, i dont know why for the past four years i've been here, every year i blog about tais liur kan something buttermilk. buttermilk bun tia. buttermilk toast tia. buttermilk chicken tia. it's pretty odd. but well, thanks to my favourite cook yang paling handal di dalam dunia (mesti di puji tinggi2 nie hehe), my cousin Hani a.k.a si Tan (bukan short form for Setan tapi Sul"tan") gave me the recipe cum instructions on how to make buttermilk toast ala ala taurean cafe. if menjadi, will share the recipe tomorrow.

been a good girl all week doing my readings and illegally photocopying books in the library too. i even spent 5 hours reading today. so its safe to say that my work is progressing. cross my fingers that i will start writing something next week. insyaallah. tapi knowing me, next week would probably be SUNDAY of next week, udah ku guilty and realise that i've been procrastinating. hehe. inda heran kan. hehe

was going through the pictures in my camera when i realised how much fun it was when the family was here in June. even my mum and dad got really iski. nya orang 'ada ada saja'. haha. such a pity that i kinda 'ruined' their holiday with being sick.  kamuuu.. come back.  i miss you!

them minus dad
haha spot the difference
hahaha. capi2 kan.

mum and dad tired after a day of fun fun fun. hahah.
 
and you could just tell really that i'm missing most of the fun (since i'm not in any of the pictures!). i was busy doing this instead:

haha. siapakah lagi mengambar ani. i just realised someone took this using my camera.